


"Close.. Your Eyes," (SBI)

by AsiniePerson



Series: Techno's Time [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: AO3 ADD SUICIDAL TECHNO AS AN ADDITIONAL TAG, AO3 ALSO ADD DEPRESSED TECHNOBLADE AS A TAG, Angst, Blood, Blood and Gore, Bo En, Dadza, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hes depressed, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insomnia, Insomniac Technoblade, Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Middle Child Technoblade, No Incest, Older Sibling Wilbur Soot, PINK HAIR EEEE, Sad Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Some japanese, Songfic, Suicidal Technoblade, Suicide Attempt, Technoblade Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade-centric (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, Youngest TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), bad angst writing attempt, barely though - Freeform, depressed Technoblade, depression af, google translate is weird, human techno, i dont even know if i got the translation correct, i translated the japanese bits, im techno centric, more tags as i go on maybe, my time, not shipping him, short af, this is probably poorly wriiten
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29120127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsiniePerson/pseuds/AsiniePerson
Summary: "you'll be here soon.."But Techno can't bring himself to do it.Song: My Time by bo enI'm aware this song is about Insomnia/Sleep (bo en confirmed it)! But with how the song goes and my craving to write Technoblade angst and improve my writing I couldn't resist! Hope you understand.This is gonna be really short! Just a drip of some Techno angst. Also, yes there is going to be a sequel.Disclaimer: This may not be an accurate description of mental illnesses. I, myself, have not been diagnosed.
Series: Techno's Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142138
Comments: 12
Kudos: 76





	1. Ichi Ni San Shi Go Bun (One, Two, Three, Four, Five Minutes)

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably a terrible angst writing attempt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Insomnia nights are never fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorta new to writing in ao3, if you spot something wrong, please tell me :)
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if I have the translations correct! Appreciated if you help.
> 
> Chapter is really short. I plan on this fic being short also.

_ 'Tokidoki, hontou ni netai,' (I really want to sleep,) _

Techno rolled over to where the alarm clock side is.12. AM. The alarm clock seemed like it was mocking Techno with its numbers. It wasn't unusual for Techno, though it bothered him. A lot. He really tried to calm down his mind, he really did. But the thoughts came back anyways. His Angel and Demon were fighting again.

_ Sleep. _

**_Would they actually care if you died of sleep deprivation?_ **

_ Close your eyes, don't open them. _

**_I mean - you don't have to. Remember, you're the one who dug yourself into this hole._ **

_ And you can get out of it! _

**_Only if you can ask for help. Oh right, you don't wanna be a burden.._ **

Of course Demonblade made everything worse. Of course Techno believed it. Was it true?

… 

He can never know.

Memories meant nothing to him. Only guilt. Great, now that thought was creeping up against him. 

So many thoughts drowning himself from time. Too many. Who could've thought? Techno drowning in his own thoughts, not the good way. 

**_Drowning, you say?_ **

Why, why, why. He's created a monster inside himself already and it's growing, eating him up alive. 

…

What is there to eat if it's already eaten? Nothing is left. Exactly, he's already been eaten alive by his own thoughts. It took over. He can't make it if he tried.

'I just wanna sleep', thought Techno, 'even the simplest of wishes don't even come true.. Or just my wishes.'

Losing more sleep every night, more and more. Sleepless nights became a thing, and falling asleep but then waking up three hours later and not falling back to sleep became another thing. 

_ 'Demo, kono waado dekinai.' (but I cannot.) _

But as the voices say,

' _ Oyasumi, _

_ Oyasumi _

_ Oyasumi  _

_ Oyasumi.' _

_ (Goodnight x4) _

'Even the voices are telling me to sleep. But should I listen to them?' the boy in bed questioned.

…

'Probably should.'

It's dark in his room, besides the red light emitting from the alarm clock. It's like his mind, dark and only had thoughts.

Blurry. Is this sleep or death?

His eyes became heavy. It's black.

'Most definitely sleep.'

For Techno, that felt like an eternity. But in reality? Only five minutes has passed.

12:05 AM.

Oh how Techno was excited on how he's gonna wake up in a few hours.. Yay..

But hey, least he's getting sleep?


	2. Oyasumi, Oyasumi.. (Goodnight, Goodnight..)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the best idea when you wake up like three hours later..
> 
> Now the voices are getting louder.

It's 3 AM. He just woke up 10 minutes ago.

He's not sure how it happened. It went by in a daze. But what he does know, is that he's in a bad situation.

He didn't care. It escaped from the pain.

With another cut, a crimson liquid ran down to his finger.

_Don't let it drip._

But he did anyway. It dropped to the floor like a raindrop. More blood, more cuts, it dripped down his arm and finger. A dark red puddle had formed. Just like raindrops. They would drip until the puddle got bigger. The source would be the clouds. For this, he was the source. 

..Not enough.

_'Close your eyes and you'll leave this dream.'_

More voices. This time it could be right.

..He could just close his eyes and plunge the knife in his throat.

'Not today.' he chuckled a bit and glided the blade over his delicate skin. The knife used to be silver and bright. It's still silver and bright, just has some dull red on it. 

But instead, more cuts covered up his skin, leaving not much space behind for any new ones he may add. He knew he needed to stop, he didn't do anything to stop it.

And with one final cut, he dropped the knife, nearly slicing his foot.

Silence.

A creak.

This alerted Techno, was someone there? Was he going to get busted?

But no, it was nothing. 

'Curse my fucking mind.'

_'Oyasumi, Oyasumi'_

Now the voices are even louder. Was that its only purpose? Just to annoy him? Just to make him feel worthless, to die?

Right. Bandaging. 

When did he all of the sudden become tired?

Oh yeah, blood loss.

Techno ran his hands under water, to remove excess blood. He didn't want to leave anymore faint bloody fingerprints anywhere.

He avoided looking at his own reflection while grabbing the pearl white bandages. He hated his reflection, always did. The only time he needed to look was in the mornings, when everyone was awake. Had to make himself look presentable, hide the pain, no one would notice.

It's so weird that the bandages fit with his pale skin. Shame that he can't show anyone. 

Christ. Now everything fucking hurts.

His cuts stung, the bandages worsening it. Shoulders felt so heavy, and his legs ached. head hurt too. God, how was he even standing?

Now it's the floors. He had to scrub them.

'This is why you never let your blood drip, you know this Techno..'

He mentally face-palmed himself.

After, he threw the tissues in the toilet. Yeah, sure, it could flood, but it's a useful way to remove evidence. He watched them dissolve. Sometimes he wished he could disappear too.

Techno made his way out of the bathroom not forgetting to turn off the lights. He plopped himself on his bed. What's it like to have a normal life?

_'I know that it's hard to do..'_

Techno had to agree on this one. Living a normal life wasn't easy to do.

Man, living life can be so fun sometimes. **(S** **arcasm amirite)**

He felt himself crying a bit. For what? He sighed.

Sometimes questions just can't be answered.

'I'm so weak.'

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. a/n

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhh

so I'm not gonna put the Japanese lyrics anymore

why?

because no, fuck that.

also i can't really get a proper translation.


	5. Hiatus

I feel bad this isn't an update

But I'm failing class

so I'm taking a hiatus

hope you understand


End file.
